Sorry, Bros and Ladies, I had forgotten that I had this blog because I broke my Mom's computer last year and she wouldn't let me use the new one. She's asleep right now, so if I type quietly, I won't wake her and I can fill all you in on my what's up in DT's world.
First of all, I'm proud to say that I am sticking to my New Year's resolution. No, I'm not moving out of my parents house...why would I want to do that? My resolution this year was to fully commit myself to becoming a degenerate gambler. Since Dec. 31st, I have yet to miss a day at the track. I even rang in the New Year there! It was great; Saul the crazy Vietnam vet was there, Eugene the pederast was there, Stella the one-legged prostitute and Train Track Willie the incontinent hobo was there too. The whole gang! We lifted up our Snow Pea flavored Boones Farm and toasted at Midnight as DaddyDidn'tShowMeAffection, a 25-2 philly we all bet on beat out the favored HorsePorn (3-1) in the final leg. I won $600 that night, but Stella stabbed me and stole it all, plus $700 in tips I had on me. But overall this year I'm only $20 down, not counting the $5,000 I was down from 2008.
The secret to my success is all in how I study for the races. I read the track pamphlet everyday at work and make my notes so that when I get to the track, I've got all my ponies for the day picked out. If I had studied like this in college, I may have actually gotten that Kineseology degree. Word to the wise, don't ever pick a horse just for the name. I got into trouble when I put a grand on a horse named I'mSecretlyAHomosexual just because I liked the name. Bad news, bro, it didn't finish the race and they had to take it back to it's parents farm to recuperate.
Uh,oh! I hear my mom coming down the stairs. Gotta sign out.
Friday, February 20, 2009
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